Take the quiz below to test your level of Grateful Dead fandom.
Question One: Someone suggests listening to the Grateful Dead. You reply...
1. "Who are the Grateful Dead?" (1 point)
2. "No thanks. I don't like the Grateful Dead." (2 points)
3. "Sure. Just let me stop the Grateful Dead I'm listening to right now." (3 points)
Add up your score.
1 point. You have never heard the Grateful Dead.
2 points. You don't like the Grateful Dead.
3 points. You're a deadhead. You have shelves heaving with colourful CD's and expansive box sets. Your home decore is a strange mixture of skeletons, teddy bears, fractals and tie dye. You're one of a rare breed of people who can hear the term "Dick Pick" and think of music and not genitalia. The first week in August holds more personal significance than any family commemorations. Your pets are named Charlie, Althea, Jack Straw, Black Peter, Jack a Row, Stagger Lee, Rose, Samson, Delilah, Casey, Jimmy, Franklin or Rosalie, and you call your fan Bertha. You believe it's Dylan's fault that Dylan and the Dead is unlistenable. You have expressed your opinion in a meeting or social gathering by saying "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" and then nodded your head as if this is sage wisdom. You made an audible, angry noise when you realised I wrote "Jack a Row" and not "Roe." Every time you see someone with long white hair and a bushy white beard you think of Jerry, even if they're wearing a red hat and it's Christmas. You have spent hours of your life telling people that she was really a great singer and used to back Elvis Presley it's just that she couldn't hear herself. The thousand-year history of the Pyramids is less significant to you than a few days in 1978. Your PIN number is 5877. You can't hear the words "Fill", "Cherry" or "We're" without mentally changing them to "Phil", "Jerry" and "Weir". You view Phish Phans as teens who haven't grown up yet. You avoid the thousands of delicious ice-cream flavours in the world and always opt for a horrible tasting one just because it's named after your idol. You describe a six minute song length as "short". You can't bring yourself to hate Anne Coulter as much as you know you should. From where you're sitting you can see at least a dozen Seal Your Face logos, half are real but half exist entirely in your own head. Despite having no interest in sport, you closely follow the fortunes of the Lithuanian basketball team. You secretly call your partner Mountain Girl, or you would if you had one.
There is no option 4.
Question One: Someone suggests listening to the Grateful Dead. You reply...
1. "Who are the Grateful Dead?" (1 point)
2. "No thanks. I don't like the Grateful Dead." (2 points)
3. "Sure. Just let me stop the Grateful Dead I'm listening to right now." (3 points)
Add up your score.
1 point. You have never heard the Grateful Dead.
2 points. You don't like the Grateful Dead.
3 points. You're a deadhead. You have shelves heaving with colourful CD's and expansive box sets. Your home decore is a strange mixture of skeletons, teddy bears, fractals and tie dye. You're one of a rare breed of people who can hear the term "Dick Pick" and think of music and not genitalia. The first week in August holds more personal significance than any family commemorations. Your pets are named Charlie, Althea, Jack Straw, Black Peter, Jack a Row, Stagger Lee, Rose, Samson, Delilah, Casey, Jimmy, Franklin or Rosalie, and you call your fan Bertha. You believe it's Dylan's fault that Dylan and the Dead is unlistenable. You have expressed your opinion in a meeting or social gathering by saying "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" and then nodded your head as if this is sage wisdom. You made an audible, angry noise when you realised I wrote "Jack a Row" and not "Roe." Every time you see someone with long white hair and a bushy white beard you think of Jerry, even if they're wearing a red hat and it's Christmas. You have spent hours of your life telling people that she was really a great singer and used to back Elvis Presley it's just that she couldn't hear herself. The thousand-year history of the Pyramids is less significant to you than a few days in 1978. Your PIN number is 5877. You can't hear the words "Fill", "Cherry" or "We're" without mentally changing them to "Phil", "Jerry" and "Weir". You view Phish Phans as teens who haven't grown up yet. You avoid the thousands of delicious ice-cream flavours in the world and always opt for a horrible tasting one just because it's named after your idol. You describe a six minute song length as "short". You can't bring yourself to hate Anne Coulter as much as you know you should. From where you're sitting you can see at least a dozen Seal Your Face logos, half are real but half exist entirely in your own head. Despite having no interest in sport, you closely follow the fortunes of the Lithuanian basketball team. You secretly call your partner Mountain Girl, or you would if you had one.
There is no option 4.
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